Virtual Assistant Forum: Doubts from husband - Virtual Assistant Forum

My husband thinks all of this is "fishy" and that I'm setting myself up for a lot of misery. No return on my investment and has doubt in Tawnya's system. I have only been doing this a month. He feels the clients should just come to me instead of me going to them. He says he's spoken to some people and they've never heard of this and he wants to know why I haven't gotten one client and I've been doing this a month. Someone please help me explain to him that it takes time. He has his own business too but he doesn't seem to have any faith in what I'm doing just because I've had a few technical difficulties with my website. I'm a complete novice when it comes to HTML and FTP but I'm learning and I'll figure out my FTP problem of Access Denied but he thinks the clients should just magically appear. How do I stop his doubts and making me feel like an idiot for trying something I know I was meant to do?
Help!!!!

I wish I knew what to tell you. It sounds like the only way your husband is going to change his views is to be proven wrong. Sometimes people like this refuse to see "the other side". I don't want to be the discourager but you do have your work cut out for you - it is very hard to start something like this when you don't have your spouses support. I encourage you to search for VA news articles (there have been several I have found where either tv or newspapers have done articles on VA's) and also go to www.entrepreneur.com and do a search. They have things listed on there regarding VA's as well. Hold you head up high and be determined to prove him wrong. Don't let his negativity rub off on you - the mind is a powerful tool. Keep plugging along and it will happen! According to what I have read on here it takes some longer that others to get clients.

Angie

Don't get discouraged. It takes time to build up a business and your husband should know this since he has his own.

Many people I've met don't know what a VA is either. When I explain what work a VA can do, they are surprised and ask for more information. Tawnya has put together a great program. I purchased it last year and found everything very informative.

This forum is great for support and information. If you are having a problem with your business such as the website, etc. there are so many people who are willing to help you. Just ask and don't think that your question is not important enough.

Keep your head up! We're behind you.

Heather

Oh boy do I understand where you are coming from. When I first started this, hubby was negative towards this. I do think the negativity comes from love in a strange way. They want to see you do well and don't want to see you get hurt. The main factor for my hubby's negativity was 'show me the money'. Yeah, I know. I'd like to see the money and the clients too. It took me about 4 months before I started getting clients and it was through networking in person and on forum postings.

Finally, now that I have a client base (7 months), he is a happy person. I wish you luck. You need to hang in there. People don't come to you for the most part. You have to show people what you do. Ignore him. It was hard for me to do that. I wanted to share everything. I was lucky. I had one friend and my mom to share everything with and I used them.

If he has his own company then he should know full well that you don't just hang out your sign and wait for the flood. You have to work at it. I was able to hang out my sign and wait because I spent two years networking my butt off and building a solid reputation in town. He needs to be supportive or else it's going to cause a lot of trouble.

As for the website, there are great templates out there you can use to begin with. That's what I've done. When I get a little more profit built up I'll get a super whoopie fancy one with all the bells and whistles.

I can't put the words in your mouth because you know how best to word things to him, but just about anyone in business knows it takes time. Miracles don't always happen overnight.

Keep your chin up and keep trying.

Tracey

hi there - I too am quite knew and purchased the VBSS about a little over a month ago - I ended up asking for Tawnya's help with the website. So remember help is available. My website is adcvirtualassistant.ca (I used one of the templates from the VBSS)
I too am awaiting my first client - but am hopeful. take care
Anita

As they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" and your business is not going to take off in a month! I agree with the other ladies, your husband should understand that since he is a business owner.

By the way, what's your name???

If you have a background in administration you can always meet with some previous employers and explain to them about your new business and ask them for some temp work you could do at home. Also, you could ask for a referral from them and a testimonial of your previous work. Put that on your website and your literature, it will give you credibility.

We all have faced the question, What is a VA? I feel it is my responsibility to educate the community about VAs and how we can make a significant difference in the bottom-line of small businesses, support the ever-increasing needs of entrepreneurs and fill a revenue-generating need for non-profits by utilizing our skills to assist these businesses. (I'll come down from my soap-box now"!! )

This is a great industry and this forum is an incredible place to be for support, answers and encouragement. If you are truly dedicated to your business, just hang in there and your husband will be so proud of you when that first client does come in.

Good luck,
Terri

My heart goes out to you. When I started out I really thought that I would be in the same boat. I was completely shocked when, from the very first time I told him I wanted to try this, he was my biggest chearleader. He knew I could do it with no doubts way before I was sure. It is harder when you spouse doesn't get it. Well, don't give up! Use his "bad attitude" as motivation to show him just how wrong he is! My motivation was my husband loosing his job and suddenly having to pay all the bills...and I had no clients. Within a month I had my first client (still have them too). Never ever give up! You KNOW you can do this to have gotten as far as you already have!! I am cheering you on! YOU CAN DO THIS BABY!!!!!

I cannot imagine not having supporting family to help with my business. But even if they hadn't been, I still would have tried it. You are the only one who can make this work. I doubt there is anyone on this forum who doesn't think that Tawnya walks on water. This woman has put together (with help from many people) an incredible program. While I did not buy the VBSS system, I often wish I had. It would have made my job of growing my business so much easier.

Keep digging into the forum and finding answers to your questions. I have never seen a better support group than this one (okay, IVAA is amazing, too (Sorry, Candy)) As someone mentioned above, you can't let your husbands negativity affect you and how you proceed. Your post indicates that you have a lot of drive and determination. You will have to draw on that daily.

I got my first client after only a month but then waited several more months before I got the next one. But "waited" isn't the right word. I pushed, pulled, dragged and kicked my potential clients into clients. I joined my Chamber, which happens to be an excellent one, and went to all the meetings. I did some local advertising. I sent press releases to my local paper and then made them write an article about me. Every time I did something amazing (or I thought was amazing) I sent the information to the paper. I tried a little of everything, figured out what worked, what was in my budget, what I enjoyed doing and went from there.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got on this forum is this; even when you are not busy with clients, find something to do. Do some research for your business, learn a new skill, make 5 cold calls a day just to test the market, clean your office, join a group. Anything that keeps you really busy. You will spend as much (or more) time marketing as you do working with clients. The busier you are, and the more you use your time, the busier you will get. I always have at least 10 new ideas brewing in this ol' head that I would like to try. When I have a slow day, I work on one or more of them.

As far as cold calling is concerned, try it! I hate it, most people hate it, but you might find you love it. I open the phone book, find what I believe is a small business (that's my target market) and I call. "Good morning, my name is Nancy and I'm calling from HRA Global Solutions. How are you today? Great! May I speak to your HR manager, please? Oh, you don't have one? May I send you some information that might be helpful for your business? Thank you. May I ask your name please? Billy-bob? Thank you so much, Billy-bob, I will get this out in the mail to you today. May I check back next week to be sure you received it? Thanks so much for your time, Billy-bob, and have a wonderful day." Sounds kind of stupid, but it's effective as hell.

Good luck to you. If you ever feel down, and we've all been there, come to this forum and/or to IVAA and vent. Everyone here will help you out. All 10,000 (or so) members.

Nancy

Well, I'll chime in with everyone else. If you don't have a supportive family, it will be more difficult. If he doesn't understand what a VA is and wants to get a better idea, have him read What is a VA? or have him read through the VAnetworking article directory. If he still doesn't get it, have him read through the forum. Whatever works so that he has a better understanding of what you're trying to accomplish, not only for yourself, but for the family.

Yes, this industry is something new but it's also been around for a while. It's new because we're actually getting out there and telling people who we are and what we do. For some VAs, they had clients before they even opened their doors. For others, it took them 3, 6, 9 or even 12 months before they networked enough to get clients knocking on their virtual door.

My hubby supports me but has no clue what I'm doing. I was showing him how I was making ebook CDs and then lightscribing the CD yesterday. All he said was "That's interesting" and went downstairs to watch TV. He knows I'm working and has even traveled with me to spend a day camping with a few fellow VAs. He sees my "talking" to them via Skype too. He says it's weird watching me talk to people I have no clue who they are and doing working/getting paid for being at home and sitting at the computer, but he's also proud of the fact that I keep learning and growing. He's also proud that I have found something that makes me happy.

As others have said, if you're having difficulties with your site or something else, let us know. We're here to help. Just post questions and the answers will come. Not everyone is good with websites or other things. That's why we all work together and keep this industry growing.

Keep your chin up! Be proud that you've accomplished what you've so far. Before you know it, he'll understand and be your biggest supporter.

Ya know, I've always had that support and frankly if I didn't, I would probably kick him in the butt until he gave it. Marriage and friendship is not only about love, but supporting your loved one - even if the idea is something you may not agree with. Yes, it will take time to build your business. Yes, it's scary and yes, it's hard. It sounds like to me you need to have a long talk with this person. Negativity just builds more negativity.

VANF is a wonderful group of people, as you have already seen from the replies here. BUT this support is great, but you will need his as well.

Kick his butt

Ugh....I am so sorry to hear that your husband is being like that. Personally, I can't imagine Candy NOT owning her own business. She and I both started our own businesses back in 2002(ish). I went with the more conservative retail environment, and she went with the Virtual Assistant "thing". We both supported each other, but she definately had the harder end: she worked from home (with 2 kids), she had to put up with me being gone 14+ hours a day, and she helped me with the accounting in my business (ok, she did it all...).

Well, here we are 6 years later, and her business is still going strong. My business? We decided to close it 2 years ago because 1.) It was not making money and 2.) Candy was working herself to death with a very successful business of her own and trying to keep mine in business.

So now we work together. Her business is going great, she just got finished with her term as President of the IVAA, and I couldn't be more proud of her.

I'm afraid I don't know what niche you are going for, but have you tried presenting it to your husband like "I'm doing remote accounting for businesses." Or "I'm an outsourcing professional"? Virtual Assistant as a term is spreading like wildfire, but it still hasn't reached many people. You mind try using a more well understood definition that won't make him run to wikipedia. (Speaking of wikipedia, here is the like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_assistant

As for clients coming to you...wow...that sounds like a GCE (gross conceptual error). I do not know many businesses where the customers just "walked in the door" the second they opened. I'm sure it has happened...but not very often.

Good luck, I hope he comes around!

I want to thank everyone for your answers and support. I spoke with my mom and my bestfriend who are my biggest cheering section and told me to ignore him and keep going. They are proud of me and know I can do it. This weekend I'm going to the Woman's Show here in Calgary to do some networking. I still have to work out the FTP problem with my website but otherwise I'm excited and I know I can do this. Thank you all.

Gina
www.dependableos.com

Gina,

You have been given some great advice and I encourage you to hang in there. I am located in Calgary as well and if you'd like to get together some day, feel free to send a PM and I would love to hang out!

Wishing you luck at the Women's Show this weekend and in your VA biz as well!

Hey Gina,

I know exactly how you feel.... While my husband was 'somewhat' supportive in the beginning, and even though I've had some clients, I don't have any retainer clients to have some regular income coming in and he's not real happy and now being negative about the whole thing. My situation is compounded by the fact that our "plan" when I left my full time job was that our second home was going to be sold... but that fell through.... and so we have not one but TWO mortgages to pay... and his income can't handle it all alone. Our solution is that we are now marketing our second home as a vacation home in the mountains of NC (I've taken that on as MY second business) and hopefully that will help. I also took a part time temporary job, which is about to end soon... and I'll probably look for another.... just to help see us through. I am determined to hang in there though... because I truly BELIEVE in my business and I KNOW I can do it!!! All of us that are struggling a little with our start up have to hang in there... and keep on trying... Our time will come!! I think one of my problems has been that I haven't been doing much networking (aside from the forum)... and I NEED to do that. In May I'm going to join a local small business association and attend some of their events.... There's also a women's networking group here for small business owners... and I am going to attend their next function. I've been dragging my feet on doing this... but it's time!! Hang in there girl!!!

Libby