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Guest TankeryankerII

Whats wrong with me?

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Guest TankeryankerII

I discovered the VA industry and this forum back in 2004 while I was updating my job skills. Since then I have worked hard and went from barely knowing how to email to getting three certificates in web technology. I finished my last certificate last month.

 

While I was gathering skills I was also purchasing the hardware and software I would need to be a successful VA. I have finished the mock up and wire frame for my website. Here is the kicker. I have no desire to go any further. Nothing I try gets me motivated to get my site up (the third one since joining Vana).

 

Anybody else get like this? Does it pass? Did I waste all that money gathering supplies? What is wrong with me?

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It sounds to me like you have all your ducks in a row but just need that extra vote of confidence to continue further correct? You've heard the term perpetual students haven't you? You may be in that sandbox and just need a bit of water to wash you out of it. My suggestion is to find a mentor of sorts for a few months to help motivate and keep you on track. If your budget allows same, I'm highly suggesting checking out one of our VAmotivators. Learn from the best in the business! I promise, you won't be disappointed from the results of having one of our VAmotivators on your side in 2009. Well worth the small investment and we are extending the 25% discount for another month so good timing :)

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Guest

A mentor is a good idea sometimes and they can be very helpful in getting over feeling bad about something and offering good advise. I have not been posting here for some time because I was kind of in the same "boat". I have re-done my site so many times now that I've lost count. However, along the way I have learned so many new and exciting things! One was leaning how these websites work and I've actually learned some code that makes them work. I am not by any means a web developer, but at the beginning I did not know how to create a website...

 

Therefore, my suggestion for you is to "keep on chugging" and "keep on keeping on". DON'T GIVE UP! ;)

 

Derek

[Signature deleted, please abide by our forum rules]

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I've been in that situation. Fortunately, I was stuck in a rut not for years but for months only-- and that was because there were several options along the way. Eventually, I knew I had to do something about it or else I would end up not doing anything. So the first thing that I did is to get a power planner and set my goals, which I grouped into long-term, short-term and immediate goals. My planner (still using it) helps me in getting organized.

 

The real challenge is to complete your daily tasks no matter what you're doing. Otherwise, you'll end up listing your to-dos over and over again.

 

 

 

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I had the exact same problem as you.

 

A couple years ago, I was gunho over starting my business while I was working full time. I read everything I could get my hands on and purchased several ebooks and courses. Things seemed to be going good and then I began to backoff due to family priorities. After a while I just did not have the drive that I had when I started. I continued to participate in the various VA forums that I belonged to. I kept asking myself "what happened to that drive that I used to have". I attended a VA conference last year where I met many successful VA's and I'm glad that I did. I communicate with a few of those who I met and especially ones located in the same city.

 

Last month, I made a decision to start up again. I sat down and started writing down what I wanted to accomplish in 2009 and the steps to attain my goals. This was very therapeudic for me. Take time, with no distractions, to look at what you want, what you need and most importantly, what you have. You have skills or you wouldn't have considered being a VA.

 

Since last month, I am taking the VATP program run by Mary Lou Ashton. As part of the program, I get coaching sessions with her and really look forward to that. This is my first step. My main problem is being confident in what I am doing and to stop procrastinating. Do something positive every day to get ahead.

 

Keep thinking positive. Keep networking through this forum. You get great support from everyone here. If you can, go to a conference and meet other VA face-to-face.

 

Good luck.

 

Heather

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Firstly, there is nothing wrong with you. We all tend to question our path - I am sitting at a cross roads now myself. Everyone here has wonderful advice - these folks are a great bunch of people to lean on. Hang in there; everything will fall into place as it should. Perhaps at this point, your body is just telling you to take a little break to regroup - we all need to stop and smell the roses sometimes.

 

Kindly,

 

Tracy

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Hmmm, the perpetual student. I am like that too. I love the challenge of mastering something new. Once I master it, I get bored and want to master something else. Have you ever heard of Barbara Sher. She calls us "scanners".

 

Someone said once that if you just keep sucking up all the knowledge and you don't share what you know with others then you are being selfish. Ok, they didn't use those words, but it was something like that. Anyway, you just need to find a way to share your knowledge with others.

 

I think that if you are feeling like something isn't quite right, then you are probably on the right track. Trust your feelings. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be a virtual assistant. Just maybe you have a need to be something different from what your vision of what a virtual assistant looks like. You can still assist people virtually.

 

The other thing is, could all those classes and certifications have burned you out? Maybe you just need a break.

 

Or, another idea. Could all those classes and certifications scared you into thinking that maybe you aren't good enough?

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Okay... I typed up this rah rah response but then deleted it...

 

The harsh reality is that running a business takes self motivation. No coach, no program can give that to you. Yes, they can help short-term and give you a kick in the pants, but the truth is that YOU have to be the one to decide to get up off your duff and get it done. There have been many many many times that I want to throw in the towel and just walk away, but you have to go read or exercise or whatever floats your boat for and hour and come back and say "I'm going to do this today. It's going to get done." and then, well, just do it. Set a goal for yourself. Say "Today, I'm going to finish the layout for my website" and then, well. Just do it. Even if you do it badly, do it. If the true self discipline is there, you'll get it done.

 

(oh and it's January so I always sound like I"m in a bad mood. You CAN do it, you just have to go do it) :-)

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(oh and it's January so I always sound like I"m in a bad mood. You CAN do it, you just have to go do it) :-)

 

LOL Candy about your bad mood month ;)

 

I agree, procrastination is a killer and will stop you dead in your tracks. In the end it is your decision, your passion, your persistent that gets you rolling. I know for me though, if it wasn't for my mentor whipping me now and then to keep me focused, I'd just topple over. ;)

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Hi,

 

I have a question for you... how hungry are you? It's been my experience that when I had plenty of money in the bank I dabbled with a lot of different possibilities but could never get myself going. When the money ran out I picked SOMETHING and went with it. When you are hungry you don't have a lot of time for indecision. ;)

 

Also, are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism is usually one of the largest roadblocks to getting started with any venture. You think: "Once I have my website exactly as I want it.. or once I get really good at this or the other skill etc then I'll really launch my venture". Unfortunately, because nothing is EVER perfect you remain in eternal hold. At some point you have to decide that even if things are not as perfect as you'd want them you are going to do this.. and do it!

 

I hope this helps.

 

Victoria

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Hi,

 

I have a question for you... how hungry are you? It's been my experience that when I had plenty of money in the bank I dabbled with a lot of different possibilities but could never get myself going. When the money ran out I picked SOMETHING and went with it. When you are hungry you don't have a lot of time for indecision. ;)

 

Also, are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism is usually one of the largest roadblocks to getting started with any venture. You think: "Once I have my website exactly as I want it.. or once I get really good at this or the other skill etc then I'll really launch my venture". Unfortunately, because nothing is EVER perfect you remain in eternal hold. At some point you have to decide that even if things are not as perfect as you'd want them you are going to do this.. and do it!

 

I hope this helps.

 

Victoria

 

I have been there! Thank you Victoria for sharing. This is the best advice on the topic. ;)

 

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Guest TankeryankerII

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your thoughtful posts-TankeryankerII

 

"Perhaps at this point, your body is just telling you to take a little break to regroup - we all need to stop and smell the roses sometimes."

 

Tracy, this may be true as I spent most of my time for the last few years doing homework. I still have a hard time going someplace and not rushing back to do homework.

 

"Hmmm, the perpetual student. I am like that too. I love the challenge of mastering something new. Once I master it, I get bored and want to master something else."

 

Crystal, I get bored super easy and right now nothing is a challenge

 

I think that if you are feeling like something isn't quite right, then you are probably on the right track. Trust your feelings."

 

I am still trying to sort them out to know what it is I am feeling.

 

Or, another idea. Could all those classes and certifications scared you into thinking that maybe you aren't good enough"?

 

One thing that learning does is let us know how much we don't know. I am not the best nor the worst at my craft. I do have big expectations of myself.

 

The harsh reality is that running a business takes self motivation. No coach, no program can give that to you. Yes, they can help short-term and give you a kick in the pants, but the truth is that YOU have to be the one to decide to get up off your duff and get it done.

 

Candy, when I was showing horses I had a coach she kept me from reinventing the wheel and knew the shortest route to achieve my goals. However, I was the one that decided I would practice every day no mater what including riding in the rain, sloshing through the mud, or the @#%$ heat.

 

I have a question for you... how hungry are you?

 

Victoria, I am not that hungry. Because of my skills updating I landed a job that pays twice the US national average and I have never been so spoiled.

 

Also, are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism is usually one of the largest roadblocks to getting started with any venture. You think: "Once I have my website exactly as I want it.. or once I get really good at this or the other skill etc then I'll really launch my venture".

Yes, I see some of this in me.

 

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Sounds like you need to take some time off and figure out :addohno: "what you want to be when you grow up". ;)

 

Maybe it was the challenge that made you decide to go for it in the first place. And now that you've proven to yourself that it is "doable" the challenge is gone.

 

Focus - have a moment to yourself and find out if this is what you REALLY want. Motivation, coaching sessions, overcoming procrastination - that's all good BUT if you don't have definite resolve from within then the effects of all those will fade as well.

 

Keep us posted and let us know how your journey unfolds - whatever your decision may be, know that your VANA family is always here for you!

 

Jocelyn

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Guest Heather Robinson

I just posted something similar on another forum.

 

"I know that this sounds ridiculous, but I think that maybe I am afraid that if I actually go ahead and launch my VA business that I will actually succeed.

 

All of a sudden I'm thinking bizarre thoughts like will my husband be upset when I am earning more money then he is? will my children suffer because I am too busy to spend time with them? will my friends be jealous of my success?

 

Have any of you had similar concerns before you started your business?

 

The really strange thing is, I don't have any doubts that I will be successful. That may sound a tiny bit conceited, okay maybe more then tiny bit, but failure has never entered my mind.

 

Am I alone with these thoughts?"

 

From reading your post and the subsequent replies, it looks like I am not the only one who has second guesses themselves.

 

 

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Guest anza

There is nothning wrong with you...sometimes the fear of the unknows grips us and prevents us from moving forward.

 

When I feel like that, I need to get centered again and I do that by making lists.

 

I need to write out what I want to accomplish, then break it down into smaller tasks that can be completed relatively quickly and crossed off the list.

 

That is my brain trick to make me feel like I'm making monumental progress! Even though it might be a baby step, it makes me feel exicted to take the next step no matter how scary it might be.

 

I take time to plan my week, then break it down to daily tasks. And I always ask myself, if I only get one thing done today to be satisfied with my progress what would that be, then I focus on that task first.

 

I always amaze myself and accomplish more each week than I planned because I took the enomity of the project out of the equation and made it all seem doable!

 

Confidence boosters are good for all of us...you just need to know what motivates you!

 

Self employment takes plenty of motivation and discipline. Dig deep and make it happen!

 

Best of Luck!

Anza

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