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The following I found in various German forums and on facebook. Found only one translation but due to some changes in the German original I decided to translate from scratch. If you find any errors, please let me know in a private message to not to spoil the bursts of laughter for the others :-)

 

Now, enjoy :-)

 

 

 

I just received a message from the CEO (Christmas Event Organizer): Dr. J. of Christ

Bethlehem: Well folks, I'm on holiday now.

 

I'm likely to be back again at Christmas day, but the preparations should of course begin now. So there you go!

 

As Christmas has shown last year on the internet, Christmas is not called Christmas anymore, but X-mas, therefore Santa Claus is to be named accordingly X-man from now on!

Because X-mas is right around the corner, it is high-time to start with the Christmas preparations since at least October - sorry, since October, it is high-time to start with the Christmas roll-outs and to prepare the Christmas mailing campaign ‘Just in time’.

 

The kick-off event (formerly 1st Advent) for this year’s SANCROS (Santa Claus Roadshow) has taken place on 27th November. Therefore, the official get-together of the organisation commitee was held under the chairmanship of the CIO (Christmas Illumination Officer).

 

For the first time, we prepended an upstream project status meeting, in which a to-do-list, developed in workshops, and a standardised job description were defined. This is to allow for precise areas of responsibility, a powerful performance of customer events and optimised gift-allocations, what in turn increases the level of service and also helps to implement ‘X-mas’ as a global brand name.

This meeting also served the Co-Head of Global Christmas Markets (formerly Servant Ruprecht/Santa’s little helper) to coordinate the operational structure, to ensure the gift distribution to the appropriate private-donation-centres and to come up with a clear definition of the target groups. For the first time also so called ‘gift units’ are offered via the internet.

 

The service providers (angels, elves and reindeer) have already been informed via conference call and the virtual core competences have been assigned. A package of incentives and a separate team-building event at a suitable location is planned to increase the motivation level while helping to build a unique corporate culture including identity at the same time.

 

The suggestion, to assign a coach to every angel was cancelled for budget reasons. Instead, it was decided on an additional Client Management Conference, to set up a hotline for short-term Christmas wishes as a pilot project in a test market in order to increase added value for the presentees.

Because of a sophisticated Management Information System (MIST), it is als possible to process benchmark-oriented controlling for each private-donation-centre.

 

After a new literature concept and layout format by some external consultants (Easter Bunny Associates) has been defined, we were already able to create this year's Golden Book (Golden Book Release V2.22.113.1). It will be available as ebook, supplemented by a leaflet and a newsletter for ongoing updates. High-volumes of low-cost giveaways will also serve as a teaser and as a accompanying marketing activity.

 

Furthermore, we have reached a consensus on the mission statement by intense brainstorming.

It reads: "Let's keep the candles burning," and replaces the previous "Merry Christmas".

 

True, X-man initially had concerns about the corporate redesign.

However, eventually he accepted the progressive consulting approach, especially with respect to the shareholder-value, and acknowledged the know-how of its investor-relations manager.

 

Well then, merry X-mas, I mean “Let’s keep the candles burning”.

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