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Articles!

 

Funny Articles -- Hey, let's try and find some humerous articles. Something to keep our spirts high!

 

Post them on this thread. A bit of humor. I dont' think it has to relate to a VA service. I don't think Tawyna will mind. It's a article!

 

Thanks!

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Hi Diana: :)

 

I like the idea of the humorous articles. As a moderator I would like to encourage everyone to do something to help keep everyone's spirits high. Just remember, really read the article and make sure it is humorous in the professional vein. No humor at the expense of someone else's culture, religion, politics, and the offensive physical stuff (ya know what I mean). :)

 

To start things off, here is the wee poem that I am going to read at my Toastmasters meeting tonight. I am not sure if Mike Cross is the correct person to give credit for this, or if he simply set lyrics to an old Irish poem. Have fun.

 

The Sick Note or... Paddy's Lament

 

Dear sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of my plight.

For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight.

My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,

And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

 

While working on the castle wall, some bricks I had to clear.

To throw them down from such a height seemed quite a good idea.

The bailiff was not very pleased, the bloody awkward sod

And he said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in my hod.

 

Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow.

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.

But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.

 

And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead.

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.

I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found,

That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

 

The barrel broke my shoulder as towards the ground it sped,

And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with my head.

I hung on tightly, numb with shock from this almighty blow,

And the barrel spilled out half its bricks some forty feet below.

 

Now when those bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more.

Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body wracked with pain,

When halfway down I met that bloody barrel once again.

 

The force of this collision, halfway up that castle block,

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.

Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered round.

 

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst;

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst.

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope,

And in the mass confusion I let go the bloody rope.

 

The barrel was now free to fall and it started down once more

And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.

It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say

That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today.

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Hi!

 

I agree Naomi! I had an author in mind who's currently finishing up writing a book on funny work-at-home experiences. You guys might know him -- Dan from WAHMHumor.com. He contributed a couple things to my latest book, so I thought I'd see about this. He really has some neat stuff and his book promises to be really good. I thought I'd see if he'd give permission to let us use some here. I think he's pretty busy finishing up though, haven't heard back yet.

 

Thought it would be cool. Plus, I thought I'd keep looking too. Just something different.

 

Thanks!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi:

 

My book hopefully will be coming out within the next week or two. I just did another week of major updates. Had to write up a summary on all 53 templates I used and reformat the book into their format. Under a tight tight deadline. Gotta love it! But it will be worth it. I say that now it's done! :D

 

Kimmer here's the Marketing Magic section from the book. Hope you like it. I listed you here and then put full contact info in the back of the book. I used your brochure as well in the book as a sample for a "creative" one. Your's is so light and lively.

 

Marketing Magic!

(Brought to you by Kimberley Kenney and others as specified)

*********************

“Mint Book” – Looks like a box of matches, opens to wrapped mints

With your business info on the outside!

 

Need help with Manage-MINT of your business? Call a Virtual Assistant!

 

Open for a little Encourage-MINT! As Business Owners, We need all the help we can get! Call a Virtual Assistant!

 

Want to keep your Business in MINT Condition? Call a Virtual Assistant

**********************

Valentines Day, Easter, Halloween (any candy-oriented holiday)

Prescription bottles filled with red & white candy hearts (or Easter candy, etc.), with a tag attached saying…Take 2 of these & call your Virtual Assistant in the morning!

 

Coffee/Tea Mugs

Template – Tea Pouch saying “A Cup of Tea On Me” or “Here’s To Your Health” w/Business Info

 

Client Appreciation

Send a Set of Chocolate Tools to Clients (Shaped like Hammers, Wrenches, etc.)

With a note saying, “Thanks for helping BUILD my business!”

 

Office First Aid Kit

Use an empty tin (the size mints come in) or cut a piece of cardstock to twice the size of your business card. On the front, type “Office First Aid Kit” and on the inside, type “Instructions: (1) pick up phone (2) dial 555-5555 (3) when Diane answers, say “help me with my office work!” Then staple your business card to the bottom half.

 

Traditional Gift Baskets

You can use the traditional gift basket to your advantage by sending it on an ‘off the wall’ holiday. Check out www.bluemountain.com for obscure holidays. Another example would be to send a basket to a CPA or Tax Preparer on April 16 with aspirin, aromatherapy candles, etc. Include a note saying, “WHEW! Ready for next year!” And don’t forget the other Word Processing or Virtual Assisting services you know that specialize in bookkeeping and have had an exceptionally busy tax season. Perhaps they will outsource some of their work to you next year

 

****************

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Hi:

 

Here's Dan's website! He's really funny! You can so relate to his stories.

 

I'd better not post them here. But do check out his site and sign up for his newsletter. It so reflects the working at home spirit in such a funny way. So hard to explain without showing you, but once you read one or two of his columns you'll see. I'd be glad to e-mail anyone his columns that he forwarded me. I'm sure he wouldn't mind that. On a stressful day, it's great relief!!

 

http://www.wahumor.com/

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